In the wake of the merge, miserable former Ethereum miners are putting their dusty GPUs to new uses—like heating their homes.

Picture this: You are an Ethereum miner, and for almost ten years your nine-to-five has been the same: wake to the sound of industrial wheezing in your backyard, scarf down a quick breakfast of heavily contaminated Cinnamon Crunch, take an asthmatic jog ‘round the polluted freshwater lake, then head back to the garage where the machines are kept, and where you tend to their inscrutable whims—lest they decline to compensate you with precious ETH.

Having carried on like this for years, you have become very rich—but you remain painfully aware of the inevitable onset of oblivion, which has been scheduled by a bunch of hideous nerds somewhere in the vicinity of Haight-Ashbury. 

When the merge finally arrives, as it did last week, your ETH mining world is turned upside down, swept away in minutes. 

Setting aside more metaphysical mysteries, one practical question looms large: What can you do with a shed’s worth of pricey GPUs?

Computer graphics processors can facilitate a load of interesting things beyond mining: protein folding for cancer research, high-octane password cracking, and, it goes without saying, the search for extraterrestrial life. (In coin form!)

But what else can you do with them? Can you assemble some kind of hyper-fast graphics unit to increase the verisimilitude of your nightly runs of “Counter-Strike: Global Offensive?” Can you build an artificial heart in advance of that inevitable coronary? Can you heat your squalid home with them to prepare for Putin’s winter?

Weirdly enough, yes—more than a few ex-miners told me they are doing just that.

One miner,  who calls himself Alphamine (probably not his birth name) told me that he plans to heat his house with his old power-guzzling GPUs. For now, he’s still mining—albeit a tiny, mostly profitless coin called FLUX, for the pure love of contributing to the crypto ecosystem. He’s making barely ten percent of the profit he made on Ethereum, he told me, but he hopes to amortize his cost by heating his house with roughly 80 GeForce RTX 3060 Ti model GPUs. 

from inside the home of Alphamine

Another miner who identified only as “stepwn” also uses old mining rigs for heat—not to heat his home, but to heat his greenhouse.  “I've shifted from mining to farming,” he said. Starting with a few small “no-till” plots in his yard, he says he now has a “full blown aquaponics system inside a 200 square-foot greenhouse.” 

“Mining,” he added, “taught me that when I have the right equipment in the right conditions I can make passive income, and growing stuff is just using the right equipment to maintain the right conditions for plants. It took a bunch of trial and error but I found the crops that work well for me—okra, tomatoes, beans and peas.”

Truth be told, the greenhouse is heated with Monero (XMR), not ETH chips. He’s got another scheme in mind for the ETH chips: a “PC gaming bar.” 

GPUs have other interesting uses, of course. Nick Hansen (probably his birth name) is the co-founder of Luxor, a massive mining pool that aggregated the work of mining clients and distributed rewards among them. For Hansen, the merge killed a singularly lucrative revenue stream.

Hansen’s main preoccupation now is helping his customers find other uses for their hardware—urgently. (A third of them have already switched their GPUs off, he told me.) One promising solution: using the leftover GPUs to power large neural networks, AI data centers and digital rendering products. “We’ll most likely be able to recoup our losses,” Hansen said. 

In this context, the GPUs would channel their wild wattage into complex and energy intensive projects like the incredibly popular DALL-E AI image generator, which—if you didn’t already know, you hypocrite!—uses an insane amount of computational power. 

As Hansen points out, this somewhat puts the lie to the notion that the merge will dramatically reduce GPU electricity usage. “Those GPUs aren't going to magically go away,” he said. “They’re going to be used for other things.” 

It’s a darkly beautiful thought, really: The merge sparking some kind of widespread mining exodus that feeds and empowers the Artificial General Intelligence that will soon turn us into paperclips.

Whether that would be better for the environment remains to be seen.

Stay on top of crypto news, get daily updates in your inbox.

Hungary expects EU to approve its recovery plan next month: minister

Is David Miliband about to make a Commons comeback? Ex-Cabinet minister refuses to rule out standing for Labour at 2024 election (and surprise surprise, he wants to 'align' with the EU)

Hanako Greensmith Admits She Sometimes Forgets A Step Of Administering An IV On Chicago Fire

Uomini e Donne, Davide Donadei ritorno di fiamma con l'ex? "Ci siamo parlati e..."

Aussie banned from TikTok after being relentlessly mocked for asking if it's okay to be 'straight, white and jacked' in a rant about 'feminist men'

Technology no longer agnostic, has strong political connotation: External Affairs Minister S Jaishankar

Nissan'dan yeni bir model daha, ancak bu sefer bir minibüs!

Affordable fashion finds: Amazon shoppers love these £20 fur-lined boots that are £135 cheaper than UGG's trending Classic Mini Boots

Iranian female supporters claim they are 'being spied on by government officials' at the Qatar World Cup after staging controversial stadium protests in support of Mahsa Amini

Irán confirma más de 300 muertos desde el inicio de las protestas por el fallecimiento de Mahsa Amini

Sněhule nejen na hory: V kombinaci s minisukní je můžete obléknout i na párty

Primary school teachers in Sarawak have no problem teaching Science, Math in English, says local minister

El MINI Cooper S representa las características típicas del MINI como ningún otro

Tish Cyrus dating Dominic Purcell

Former Russian finance minister Kudrin announces departure from Audit Chamber

Ciclismo, rivoluzione in vista per la Vuelta femminile

NEWS RELATED

Innenminister setzen Abschiebungen in den Iran vorerst aus

Westliche Nationen appellieren im UN-Menschenrechtsrat an die iranische Regierung , das brutale Vorgehen gegen die Protestbewegung zu beenden. Aber kann das wirklich etwas gegen das Mullah-Regime bewirken? Der Politologe Fathollah-Nejad sieht Spielraum vor allem bei Sanktionen. Quelle: WELT | Marcus Tychsen Die Innenminister der Länder wollen vor dem Hintergrund ...

View more: Innenminister setzen Abschiebungen in den Iran vorerst aus

Wiceministerska para "na dorobku". Prześwietlili ich majątek

Piotr Patkowski i Olga Semeniuk-Patkowska na ślubie W weekend wiceminister rozwoju Olga Semeniuk wzięła ślub z wiceministrem finansów Piotrem Patkowskim. Jeden z tabloidów zbadał, jak prezentuje się majątek młodej rządowej pary. 34-letnia Semeniuk i 31-letni Patkowski wzięli ślub w sobotę 26 listopada w kościele na warszawskiej Woli. Na ceremonii byli obecni znani ...

View more: Wiceministerska para "na dorobku". Prześwietlili ich majątek

Presidente Petro tras aprobarse en primer debate la creación del Ministerio de la Igualdad: “La dignidad debe ser un derecho, no un privilegio”

Esa cartera será liderada por la vicepresidenta Francia Márquez. El presidente de la República Gustavo Petro no ocultó su alegría por el avance que se registró este lunes, en las comisiones primeras conjuntas del Senado y la Cámara con la aprobación del proyecto de ley que crea el Ministerio de ...

View more: Presidente Petro tras aprobarse en primer debate la creación del Ministerio de la Igualdad: “La dignidad debe ser un derecho, no un privilegio”

Ministro de Agricultura sin filtro: “Que los camioneros descolgados se descuelguen de la imbecilidad”

Publimetro Chile Esta mañana el ministro de Agricultura, Esteban Valenzuela, criticó el paro de camioneros que inició hace una semana la Confederación Fuerza del Norte. Según informó Radio Bíobío, en conversación con los medios, Valenzuela apuntó contra la actitud de los descolgados y los invitó a “descolgarse de la imbecilidad”. ...

View more: Ministro de Agricultura sin filtro: “Que los camioneros descolgados se descuelguen de la imbecilidad”

Energy Minister Bill Johnston plays down fears over gas leak at Santos-operated Varanus Island hub

Output at the Varanus Island gas terminal has taken a hit following a leak.  () Energy Minister Bill Johnston says a gas leak at a pipeline off the coast of Western Australia’s Pilbara region, which has forced  Santos to cut output at its Varanus Island gas hub, will not impact ...

View more: Energy Minister Bill Johnston plays down fears over gas leak at Santos-operated Varanus Island hub

UNITA diz que nova divisão político-administrativa não deve condicionar autarquias

MPLA diz não ter medo de autárquicas e UNITA pede respeito de opiniões diferentes Luanda, 28 nov 2022 (Lusa) – O líder do grupo parlamentar da UNITA, maior partido da oposição angolana, disse hoje que o ‘timing’ para discussão de uma proposta de lei sobre a nova divisão político-administrativa ...

View more: UNITA diz que nova divisão político-administrativa não deve condicionar autarquias

Iran confirms more than 300 dead since start of protests over Mahsa Amini’s death

File – Photograph of Mahsa Amini, killed in Iran after being arrested for improperly wearing the veil, during a protest in Germany. – Christoph Reichwein/dpa Iran’s Revolutionary Guard has confirmed that more than 300 people have died since protests began in September over the death of Mahsa Amini, a ...

View more: Iran confirms more than 300 dead since start of protests over Mahsa Amini’s death

Der ehemalige Staatsanwalt Martínez prangert ein angebliches Komplott des kolumbianischen Außenministers gegen ihn an

Néstor Humberto Martínez. – EL TIEMPO / ZUMA PRESS / CONTACTOPHOTO Der ehemalige kolumbianische Generalstaatsanwalt Néstor Humberto Martínez hat sich bei den US-Behörden beschwert, er sei Opfer eines Komplotts, in das der ehemalige Präsident Juan Manuel Santos verwickelt sei und das von Außenminister Álvaro Leyva in Zusammenarbeit mit Journalisten ...

View more: Der ehemalige Staatsanwalt Martínez prangert ein angebliches Komplott des kolumbianischen Außenministers gegen ihn an

Kaczorowska nie mogła tego dłużej tolerować i pocisnęła ostro po feminizmie. Wywoła kolejną aferę?

Bitcoin’s Mining Difficulty Expected to Drop Significantly, Retarget Could Be 2022’s Largest Reduction

Labor finalises censure motion against Scott Morrison over secret ministries saga

Merugi Rp 3 Juta Gegara Main Judi Slot Online, Seorang Pria Nekat Bobol ATM dan Minimarket

Iraq Prime Minister to discuss shelling of Kurdish groups during Iran visit

Μαρέβα Μητσοτάκη | Η minimal chic εμφάνισή της στη συνάντηση με τον βασιλιά Κάρολο στο κάστρο του W

Top Gun filminin yıldızı ünlü oyuncu hayatını kaybetti

Nye budsjettmøter på Statsministerens kontor

Thai economy may miss forecast next year as global growth slows -Finance Minister

Wypadek na polu w gminie Radziejów. 58-latek przygnieciony upadającym pniem [zdjęcia]

Hydrogen-powered buses get Vehicle Type Approval from federal govt after trial run, says Sarawak transport minister

Conservatives are 'fearmongering' over assault-style gun ban: public safety minister

OTHER NEWS

Breaking thailand news, thai news, thailand news Verified News Story Network