Sam and Nia Rader from Netflix’s Ashley Madison dating doco reveal the struggles of living with a cheater

Exposed Christian ‘cheater’ Sam Rader and his wife Nia from Netflix’s Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies and Scandal documentary have revealed the daily challenges in keeping their marriage together after years of the husband’s adulterous behaviour.

The trending three-part series — which chronicles the rise and fall of controversial dating app Ashley Madison — follows the fallout from the company’s infamous 2015 data breach which exposed 37 million users’ “darkest desires, shameful betrayals and sexual secrets”.

Speaking to Mix94.5’s Pete & Kymba for Breakfast on Friday, the couple were asked point-blank why they’re still together and what kind of a woman would stay with a man who’s a confessed cheater.

Having built an online following on YouTube posting family-friendly content underpinned by devout Christian beliefs, their world came crashing down when Sam was outed as having signed up to the platform.

Get in front of tomorrow's news for FREE

Journalism for the curious Australian across politics, business, culture and opinion.

READ NOW

An affront to the seventh commandment they both subscribe to — “You shall not commit adultery” — Sam and Nia were forced to confront the effects of Sam’s repeated infidelity on their religious doctrine.

“When he first confessed everything to me, I was ready to divorce him,” Nia said.

“I was done and I told him that and, and we went to counselling, just seeing how repentant he was. This wasn’t just like ‘uh okay, I’ll forgive you. Okay, I’ll forgive you again and again.’’”

entertainment, confidential, lifestyle, relationships, tv, sam and nia rader from netflix’s ashley madison dating doco reveal the struggles of living with a cheater

Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal Credit: Supplied

entertainment, confidential, lifestyle, relationships, tv, sam and nia rader from netflix’s ashley madison dating doco reveal the struggles of living with a cheater

Sam and Nia Rader appear in a scandalous Netflix doco. Credit: Supplied

“It was a really time-consuming, gruelling, intense process of working towards ‘will I forgive him and stay married to him?’ Or are we going to separate and disrupt everything that we have built together?”

While Sam admitted to being remorseful, he appeared to hide behind a veil of holy righteousness when arguing his sins were equal to those of others, no matter how frivolous.

“All sin is worth punishment, “ Sam told the hosts.

“My sin as well as your sin are equal in God’s eyes and we all deserve a penalty.”

entertainment, confidential, lifestyle, relationships, tv, sam and nia rader from netflix’s ashley madison dating doco reveal the struggles of living with a cheater

Sam and Nia Rader. Credit: Nia Rader

Asked if allowing religion to justify his actions was a “deflection”, the husband used the Lord and Saviour as a shield.

“What I did find was that God hates divorce,” he said.

The exposed cheater cited his unfulfilling job as an ER nurse, coupled with his monotonous lifestyle, as motivation to join the dating platform which spouted, “Life is short. Have an affair”.

Almost a decade after the harrowing ordeal took place, the loyal wife suggested the duplicitous behaviour afflicting their relationship was not entirely unique.

“Infidelity, betrayal, sexual fantasies, even just the temptation to do those things is much more common than people either realise or willing to admit,” she said.

entertainment, confidential, lifestyle, relationships, tv, sam and nia rader from netflix’s ashley madison dating doco reveal the struggles of living with a cheater

A young Nia and Sam. Credit: Nia Rader

Hell-bent on staying with her husband — who she’d dated since they were 16 — Nia admitted to constantly keeping his wandering eye in check.

Or as Pete put it, “keep it in his pants”.

“The difference now is he is an open book. He is 100% living in truth, and I can see that,” she admitted.

“He’s very transparent with me about his struggles.”

Though hosts Kymba and Pete weren’t so understanding and pressed Sam for answers when he almost let slip another indiscretion.

“I’m saying I have confessed multiple things to Nia. It’s been a couple of months since the last confession — the last confession was for a book.”

“Literally, I was at a coffee shop that I was visiting often, and I told Nia I’m not going anymore because I’m attracted to the barista in there. And she gave me a particular look that I’m not going to toy with,” Sam admitted.

“I’m telling you that the confession continues today.”

While he admitted he struggles with “the temptation of desiring other women”, Sam argued this “struggle is 99.9% of men”.

entertainment, confidential, lifestyle, relationships, tv, sam and nia rader from netflix’s ashley madison dating doco reveal the struggles of living with a cheater

The Rader family. Credit: Nia Rader

But it’s not just the embattled husband and wife who shouldered the burden of adultery.

“We’ve been having really open conversations with our oldest daughter, she will be 14 this summer and while she doesn’t know the explicit details, she is aware that her dad was unfaithful to me,” Nia revealed.

“She looked him in the eyes herself with little tears in her eyes and said that she forgave him.”

Playing happy families for their daughter, while seemingly beneficial in the short term, might be setting a damaging precedent for what she and other girls her age will expect from their partners in future relationships.

A quote from Sam on the show suggests all could have been avoided if he’d never subscribed to the extra-marital dating site to begin with.

“When I signed up for Ashley Madison, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life,” he said.

But like many cheaters, there’s only one reason they come clean at all.

They were caught.

OTHER NEWS

26 minutes ago

‘Outrageous’: Chinese officials block Cheng Lei at media event

26 minutes ago

Foreign interference: Growing confusion, contention over alleged meddling in Canada's Parliament

26 minutes ago

Anthony Albanese ‘terrified’ of upsetting the Chinese

26 minutes ago

The Bachelorette star Georgia Love announces she is closing her online pyjama store after only four years in business

26 minutes ago

Heat warning scaled up in Delhi as ‘longest ever’ heatwave continues

26 minutes ago

Self-funded political newcomer seeks to oust longtime Republican US Rep. Tom Cole in Oklahoma

26 minutes ago

“Goldilocks Conditions”: How AI Adoption Is Fuelling Stock Market Gains

26 minutes ago

Russell Crowe calls out Dakota Johnson for ripping apart the artistic value of her Marvel flop Madame Web

26 minutes ago

Motorist's 60 cent mistake lands him $18,000 in debt after his car was rammed by another driver and deemed a total loss

26 minutes ago

Devastated family speak out after mum of 13 Julie Theobald died from common illness

31 minutes ago

E. coli food poisoning is 'much worse' in children, experts warn

32 minutes ago

‘This country gave me a lot’: the Vietnamese people staying in Ukraine

32 minutes ago

Game-changing bulk bill move for millions

32 minutes ago

‘Kaizer Chiefs were keen, but he’s loyal to Mamelodi Sundowns’

32 minutes ago

Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh's nod to Australia at royal event

32 minutes ago

Landmines cause multiple casualties during North Korean incursion into demilitarised zone

32 minutes ago

Workers cope with extreme heat in Midwest

32 minutes ago

Doris Burke evoked recent Caitlin Clark discourse during a Mavericks foul in the NBA Finals

33 minutes ago

Evacuations ordered in New Mexico village due to fast-moving wildfire

34 minutes ago

'There's No Unity': Head Coach Gary Kirsten Delivers Scathing Criticism After Pakistan's Disastrous T20 World Cup Campaign

34 minutes ago

Gutted Lucas and Dillon make huge decision in Hollyoaks as they're torn apart

34 minutes ago

First MPox case detected in WC

34 minutes ago

Aussies turn against Anthony Albanese after his unbelievable response to China's disgraceful act inside Parliament - as the PM is forced to finally call out the behaviour

34 minutes ago

Devastated family speak out after mum of 13 Julie Theobald died from common illness

37 minutes ago

Biofuel groups envision ethanol-powered jets. But fueling the effort has not been easy

37 minutes ago

Undersea explorers mark a tragic day. Things to know about the Titan disaster anniversary

37 minutes ago

Southern China faces heavy floods, and landslides kill at least 9

39 minutes ago

Troubled electric vehicle maker Fisker files for bankruptcy

39 minutes ago

Now playing: The press tour (shh, it’s better than the movie)

39 minutes ago

Former Lion Noh Alam Shah wants to deliver glory for Singapore football

39 minutes ago

Biggest aircraft to land at Geraldton Airport touches down for Royal Air Force A330 training exercise

39 minutes ago

Australian Interior Design Awards: Two WA projects claim wins across Commercial and Residential Categories

39 minutes ago

Hayden Leigh Kidd: Young man killed grandmother Shirley Kidd with mattock in drug-induced psychosis

39 minutes ago

Koenigsegg Jesko owners told to stop driving after hypercar burns to the ground

39 minutes ago

Podcast: MG 3, Suzuki Swift and Kia Picanto are Australia’s cheapest cars

39 minutes ago

Canada’s Pivetta, O’Neill come up big for Red Sox in series opener against Blue Jays

39 minutes ago

The Celtics have officially won another NBA championship on June 17

39 minutes ago

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle told two things they need to do as Royals 'very united without them'

39 minutes ago

Mixed feelings after Zuma slams GNU as ‘nonsense’

39 minutes ago

Cher, 78, flashes her midriff in cropped leather jacket and sparkling trousers at The Bikeriders premiere in LA with boytoy AE Edwards, 38