David Moyes, West Ham and a unique brand of pragmatism

Have a guess as to whether this was taken before or after West Ham’s match at Palace. Photograph: Michael Zemanek/Shutterstock

JUST A NAUGHTY BOY?

If there’s one thing West Ham fans probably wish more than anything else, it’s that people unconnected with their club would stop telling them to be careful what they wish for. These put-upon C0ckneys have, in recent months, heard why a Moyes in the hand is better than any number of Rúben Amorims, Julen Lopeteguis or turtleneck-wearing young Germans they’ve never heard of in the bush because … well, they should be careful what they wish for. The implication is clear – that having seen their team win Tin Pot and to still be in with a slim chance of qualifying for it again this time – West Ham fans have been spoilt and should be grateful for their lot in life. Never mind that it involves paying through the nose to sit in a soulless athletics stadium, near a soulless shopping mall, watching an often soulless team dotted with some outlandishly talented players surrender 80% of possession to rivals, many of whom are their significant inferiors. Just be careful what you wish for.

One thing West Ham fans almost certainly didn’t wish for was to see their team go 4-0 down at Crystal Palace inside 31 minutes last Sunday, before running out 5-2 losers. It is a result that appears to have sealed the fate of their manager David Moyes, who has long divided opinion between those supporters who think he should be allowed walk away when his contract expires this summer and the going is good, and those who insist he should have been binned off last summer when the going was even better. To be clear: Moyes has done an extremely good job, as he never tires of chippily reminding anyone who questions his popularity among the club’s fanbase who are tired of his unique brand of pragmatism. However, playing percentage football with the likes of Lucas Paquetá, Mohammed Kudus and Jarrod Bowen in your side is only as entertaining as the results it brings, and having won just three matches out of 12 against the teams above them in the league, the club hierarchy, who made their money with a range of products designed to spice up the love lives of their clientele, have decided they too would like to experiment and try something different to the managerial equivalent of the missionary position.

While no official decision is likely to be made on Moyes’s future until West Ham’s battering at the hands of Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City on the final day of the season, West Ham have already sounded out Lopetegui and on Monday welcomed Sporting manager (and Liverpool target) Amorim to London to talk turkey over a potential move. Young, bearded, hunky, about to win his second league title and hugely sought after, the young Portuguese is everything the man he might replace is not and is believed to have been offered a package to overshadow anything he might have got at Anfield.

According to his Wikipedia page, Amorim exudes “a positive outlook and a laidback, conciliatory demeanour” and “has consistently emphasised that he refrains from engaging in discussions about referees with the media”, a state of affairs that again suggests the man could scarcely less Moysie. Upon his return to Portugal, the beaming 39-year-old manager had little or nothing to say in response to waiting reporters beyond telling them he’d “see you on Saturday” for the press conference before Sporting’s next match against Porto. Early reports suggest West Ham are unlikely to get their man, but the East End jig looks well and truly up for Moyes.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Scott Murray from 8pm BST for hot Premier League minute-by-minute updates from Arsenal 3-2 Chelsea.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“If I am a teammate of Cole Palmer in his position or a similar position, I am going to be motivated to go there and show this is Chelsea Football Club, not Cole Palmer Football Club. It is a good example for them – why is he doing so well and why are they not capable to do the same. They are not jealous. They only want the same pill we provide Palmer! It’s a joke! They ask: ‘What you are doing for Palmer? We want the same!’” – Mauricio Pochettino is in surprisingly good spirits despite announcing that his best player by a country mile may miss the defeat at Arsenal due to illness.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

Re: Pep Guardiola on players kept in fridges (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). I’m sure I’m one of 1,057 readers who would agree with our former prime minister that, at times of stress, the best place to be is in a fridge. Perhaps Pep should try it himself, it might cool him down” – Giordy Salvi (and no others).

It’s great fun to support a Championship team and be able to celebrate a goal, given by a referee. What a shame the top six in the Premier League didn’t get their breakaway. We could have had the remaining 14 with the top 10 from the Championship, on Football League rules” – Steve Roberts.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Giordy Salvi.

RECOMMENDED LOOKING

It’s your boy, David Squires, on FA Cup meddling, big clubs reading the room and Luton elites.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

In the latest edition of Women’s Football Weekly: Faye Carruthers is joined by Suzanne Wrack for an exclusive interview with Fifpro representatives, Sarah Gregorious and Alex Culvin, plus Dutch international, Merel van Dongen, to discuss how players are being affected by the packed schedule.

MÉS QUE UN DESESPERADO CLUB?

Nottingham Forest’s paranoid take on the selection of VAR officials and demand for the PGMOL to release the tapes has emboldened Barcelona to fire off a desperate missive of their own following their 3-2 defeat in the clásico. You see, chief suit Joan Laporta, who you might think would be keeping his head down at the moment, has dusted off his laptop and threatened legal action if it can be proven that Lamine Yamal’s strike in the 28th minute actually crossed the line. “If, once this documentation has been analysed, the club understands that an error was made in the revision of the incident, we will take all available measures to reverse the situation, without discounting, obviously, any necessary legal action,” he scrawled all over the Barça website.

“If it is confirmed that it was a legal goal, we will move ahead and we do not discount requesting that the game be replayed, as has happened in another game in Europe due to a VAR error.” The problem with Laporta’s thinking is that a VAR check was made to determine if it was a goal and subsequently decided it was not. La Liga doesn’t use goalline technology – which is what would be required to be certain if it was indeed a “legal goal” – so perhaps Laporta should stop acting up and get on with running his club properly.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Central Coast Mariners’ star striker Angel Torres has been stood down from playing in the A-League after being charged with sexual assault.

A court has heard how high-profile agent Kia Joorabchian was confronted by about 12 debt collectors at his office – and separately relieved of his expensive watch at a restaurant – as part of an effort to pressure him into repaying money.

Feyenoord’s Arnie Slot is the latest manager linked with the unenviable task of replacing Jürgen Klopp at Liverpool.

Meanwhile, with Barcelona and Bayern Munich said to be sniffing around Unai Emery, Aston Villa have triggered a one-year extension on his contract.

Erik ten Hag reckons the media’s reaction to Manchester United’s frantic win against Coventry was a “disgrace”, rather than being “entirely justified”.

After his task of swanning around Premier League hospitality areas to adoringly watch Harry Maguire, Gareth Southgate’s job has just got even easier. He (and other managers off to the Euros) will be allowed to select 26 players for the tournament after Uefa agreed to an increase in the size of squads.

And Gateshead have been barred from taking part in the National League playoffs after failing to meet the entry criteria for membership of the EFL. The club failed to secure a “10-year security of tenure” at their ground, meaning fourth-placed Altrincham will now get a bye to the playoff semis. “We will continue to challenge both on their decisions, and we will endeavour to ensure that footballing matters are decided on the pitch,” fumed a club statement.

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS

Hashtag United’s Emma Samways was stunned to receive a £9,200 bill after suffering serious ACL-knack in a cup match. Emillia Hawkins explores the harsh reality of such health setbacks outside elite women’s football.

STILL WANT MORE?

“And you may ask yourself: how do I work this? And you may ask yourself: what happened to that three-man midfield? And you may tell yourself: this is not my beautiful club. And you may tell yourself: this is not my beautiful league. And you may find yourself: on 16 points. And you may find yourself: getting triggered by assistant referees eating sandwiches. Same as it ever was.” So begins Jonathan Liew’s column on misery at the bottom of the Premier League.

Soaring Odisha FC are seeking new heights in Indian Super League, writes John Duerden.

Jamie Jackson asks: Erik ten Hag at Manchester United, should he stay or should he go?

Louise Taylor on Alexander Isak, Newcastle’s brilliant Swede.

And Jack Snape has written about Bayern-bound Nestory Irankunda, the 18-year-old sensation tearing up the A-League (while taking German lessons).

MEMORY LANE

Gianluca Vialli embraces Roberto Mancini in 1991 – the pair guided Sampdoria to the Scudetto for the first time in the club’s history that year, with Vialli finishing as the Capocannoniere with 19 goals, three clear of Inter’s Lothar Matthäus. Born within five months of each other, Vialli’s and Mancini’s friendship would last for another 32 years until the former’s death aged 58 in 2023, but not before Mancini was able to bring his former strike partner into Italy’s backroom staff for an emotional Euros triumph. “We met at 16 years old and never left each other’s side,” said Mancini on the news of his friend’s death. “Italy’s youth and senior teams, Samp, the highs, the lows, the victories and the defeats. Gianluca gave us courage that we didn’t know and which he used to fight his illness so hard that he managed to be with us as long as he possibly could. Gianluca was the best of us, a perfect, courageous man. It was a privilege to be his friend, his teammate in football and life.”

GREEEEEEEEEEECE