Smooth operators jockey for position on Dancing With The Stars

Striding down the dancefloor, two-time Grand National-winning jockey Davy Russell looked as scared as a man bearing down on Becher’s Brook on a Shetland pony.

As it happens, his paso doble proved rather entertaining, though the inscrutability and power of the male in this dance might just have mirrored the inner thought of: ‘Why the hell did I agree to this in the first place?’

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Doubly so since the tune he danced to was The Osmonds’ Crazy Horses, which would romp home in any race to be named worst song ever.

Jockey Davy Russell and his Partner Kyle Vincent during Dancing with the Stars Pic ;Kyran O’Brien

Davy and his professional partner, Kylie Vincent, ended up fifth of the 11 contestants, though with kind comments from judge Brian Redmond, who reminded us that Nina Carberry took the trophy a few years back, and suggested Davy was worth a flutter too.

The show opened with a group dance that included all the professionals, the contestants, presenters Jennifer Zamparelli and Doireann Garrihy, and the judges. Redmond arrived playing Blofeld from the Bond movies, complete with white cat; Arthur Gourounlian left his shoes at home and danced in Doc Martens; and Loraine Barry wore a headdress that made her look like an animated Statue of Liberty.

Presenters Jennifer Zamparelli and Doireann Garrihy during Dancing with the Stars Pic ;Kyran O’Brien

In short, Dancing With The Stars is as bonkers as ever. Thankfully.

At the end of the night, a drag queen called Blue Hydrangea, of whom I confess I have never heard, and her partner Simone Arena, who sounds like a sponsored entertainment venue, led with 24 out of 30 points after a spirited cha-cha-cha to Rozalla’s Everybody’s Free.

Ru Paul Drag Race’s Blu Hydrangea with Partner Simone Arena during Dancing with the Stars Pic ;Kyran O’Brien

Mrs Brown’s Boys and Fair City star Rory Cowan and his partner Jillian Bromwich were at the bottom on 11 points. Redmond commended Jillian on bringing the party to dancefloor in the Charleston, though he noted that Rory might have been at a different party.

In between, there were some decent performances for a first show, though Fair City’s second representative, Shane Quigley Murphy, might just as well have been on a show called Lifting With The Stars, since his partner Laura Nolan spent most of her time being whirled around his head like a helicopter in White House Down. They got 19 points anyway.

Fair City Actor Shane Quigley Murphy with his Partner Laura Nolan during Dancing with the Stars Pic ;Kyran O’Brien /kobpix NO FEE For Repro during the Series ,Fee applies after Series End.

Miriam Mullins, a TikTok star also unknown to me, received 19 points with Dubliner Montel Hewson (in real life the partner of Jillian Bromwich), and Redmond described their quickstep as having ‘more spring than a mob of kangaroos in a mattress factory’. He’s been saving that one for a while, one suspects.

Ireland’s Fittest Family presenter Laura Fox is paired with pro dancer Denys Samson, who as in previous series shamelessly played up to the camera. There’s no doubt, you’d imagine, that he opens his eyes wide and smiles when the light goes on in his car.

Radio and TV Presenter Laura Fox with her Partner Denys Samson during Dancing with the Stars Pic ;Kyran O’Brien

They did a decent job with a jive, which is no mean feat on a first night, and got 21 points.

Elsewhere, former Miss World Rosanna Davison and Stephen Vincent danced a waltz that, with 17 points, felt undermarked after some of the more eccentric scores handed out earlier.

Karen Byrne, the only dancer to appear in all seven series, and her celebrity, Paralympian powerhouse Jason Smyth, also got 17, and Virgin Media presenter Katja Mia and partner Ervinas Merfeldas got 21 for a lively samba, though her neon lemon and lime dress had me reaching for the remote to adjust colour and contrast to avoid the routine looking like a dancing can of 7 UP.

Six O’Clock Show Host Katja Mia dancing with her Partner Ervin’s Merfeldas during Dancing with the Stars Pic: Kyran O’Brien

Retired newsreader Eileen Dunne looked effortlessly elegant with softly styled curls and a green dress (at least I think it was, given the fiddling around with the remote), performing an American smooth with Robert Rowinski that really was smooth, but gave them just 14 points.

Worryingly, despite the audience demographic, history says an older woman won’t last long in this contest.

Wild Youth Frontman David Whelan with his Partner Salome Chachua during Dancing with the Stars Pic ;Kyran O’Brien

So who was the most promising? That honour fell to David Whelan, of Eurovision flops Wild Youth, and his partner Salome Chachua, whose tango had lots of passions and fire, leaving them second on the leader board with 23 points.

At this early stage, they’re the couple to beat, I reckon – unless, of course, Davy Russell comes up on the inside.

Whatever happens, though, Denys Samson will always be first in for the photo finish.

Dancing With The Stars continues on RTÉ One on Sundays at 6.35pm

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Pic: Dancing with the Stars/Instagram

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