Marriage counsellor shares one sign your relationship is really over

How do you know when a relationship is doomed to fail? According to an expert, there’s one clear sign.

Unfortunately, lovers break up for all sorts of reasons and while no two couples are the same, there’s a clear line in the sand which supposedly signals the end of most relationships.

This was the topic of discussion on a viral Reddit thread, which is titled “What screams ‘we are not going to last long’ for couples?”.

Writing on the thread, one person shared the insight that a marriage counsellor had given them, pointing to the indicator of a failing relationship.

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In short, the answer is contempt – once people start treating their significant other with contempt, it’s over.

“I was at a party one time and there was a marriage counsellor there that had been working for 20-something years in couples counselling. I asked her what the number one sign was that the couple wasn’t going to make it. Without hesitating, she said, ‘If one person shows contempt for the other’s feelings, it’s over!’,” the person wrote.

Defining what contempt is in the context of relationships, Sex and relationship researcher Kristen Mark told The Knot: “Mocking your partner, speaking to them with condescension, or using sarcasm for cruelty are all examples of contempt.”

Another thing that certainly won’t help relationships is the concept of “micro cheating” – but what exactly is it?

Micro-cheating is a complex form of flirting – what sets both apart is dependent on intention. The behaviours are subjective to every individual relationship. While one couple may consider ‘flirting with the bartender’ as micro-cheating, others could shut it down as harmless.

Berman Psychotherapy clinician Hannah Paull, PSYD, told Indy100 it’s essentially ‘almost cheating’, “meaning you did not fully sexually or emotionally engage with another person outside of the relationship, but you certainly walked the line, hoping you wouldn’t get caught.”

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